Is this an [emotional] disease, or am I just a bag?

I've never really been the best at having friends, keeping friends, talking to people, or...anything having to do with being social, really. Ever since I was in Kindergarten, even, I wouldn't talk to anyone and I would keep away from anyone. As the years went on, mostly starting from grade 3, I got very depressed and anti-social. I had VERY little friends, if at all, any, and I had the most terrible lack of self esteem\confidence. In grade 6, my brother got diagnosed with all sorts of diseases and he eventually dropped out of school, not having completed his grade 9 year. I also had troubles at the same time, I was in grade 6, and I started skipping school like crazy, always missing ignments and getting yelled at until I cried from my teacher. I started to (very little) drink and cut myself. I wrote alot of poetry, also. I had no real friends, and when I would get a friend, it was always very awkward, as if I didn't know what to do, or what to say. This went on for years. --cont.